hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
