Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he puts the penis in happiness.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I think I sprained my soul last night
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize