dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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