Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
