Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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