Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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