Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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