Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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