I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
