Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
