walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
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