that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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