Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
