Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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