I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
