I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
