I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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