i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
