I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
