There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
