I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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