ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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