So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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