Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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