dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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