You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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