What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
