4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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