Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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