If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize
