Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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