the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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