My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
