He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
