How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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