I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
