what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
