But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
