dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
