dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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