there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
