whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
