"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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