So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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