are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he puts the penis in happiness.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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