its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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