Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
