do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
