Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
