Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
This is classic penis vs brain.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
