okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
