Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
