weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
