Hey man sorry I got all grabby
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
