I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
In America we eat man semen.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize