Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
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