i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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