You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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