The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
