you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Randomize