i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
