I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You are a genius and a whore.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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