chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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