I'm laying in your front yard are you home
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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