How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize