in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
tell me about the fingering
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