I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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